Losing Perspective

I don’t believe that you lose perspective at 99%. I believe you already lost it at 2 or 3%. Not having a clearly defined goal can lead you down a path of lost perspective. I know. I’ve been there.

In January 2007, I made a decision to change my life. I’d lost a friend at 22 to cancer. I’d become aware of the love of God and wanted to change. My husband and I got baptized in a swimming pool one cold evening, and coming up out of the water was a different person. The funny thing about changing your life is that once you make that decision to, things get sticky and hard. And so it was for me.

I quit smoking. I had been smoking for a long time. I replaced the habit with eating and picked up 10kg within a few short months. Then I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, turned 30 and gave birth to her the day after Christmas. The day I gave birth I was 30kg up from the beginning of that same year.

I lost 8kg with the birth, breastfed till I went back to work at 4 months (lost another 4kg) and then kept eating like I was breastfeeding. There was a crash in the market in 2008 and my salary got less and less for 8 months in a row – most months half of the previous month – until I could no longer live on my salary. My husband had to close 2 businesses and we took a loan with my parents to consolidate our debt. Out of desperation, I started a business. It would be safe to say there was a considerable amount of stress in my life at that time. My husband and I were going through a really difficult time and had even considered divorcing. I remember a span of 2 weeks that we did not say a single word to each other. Not one. At this point we had 2 daughters, our oldest 3 and baby under a year.  

By beginning of 2009, I had already started picking up some of the birth weight I had lost. None of my clothes fitted me and I spent most of my time in pregnancy dresses my mom made me, track pants and my husband’s T-shirts. I was miserable, unhappy and mean.

 I needed to have ID photos taken for some reason, so popped in a local photographic store and had them done. The photographer, a kind guy named Hein, still made a comment that I was quite photogenic and put the photos in a packet for me. In the car, I finally had the courage to look at the photos. My heart sank. I rushed back to my home office where a close friend of mine worked with me. I sat down and looked her in the eyes and asked “I need you to be a good friend. I need you to be totally honest with me, and tell me if I really look like I do in this photo”. I showed her and she responded: “That’s actually a really good photo of you”.

I’m 161cm tall. I’ve only grown 20cm since I was in Grade 6. I have a petite bone structure and wore jeans in size 6-8 up until I quit smoking. At this point I was a size 14 on its limits. I did not know that I was overweight.

For those of you who have gained or lost a lot of weight, I’m sure you can identify with this: In your mind, you still feel like you did before. If you were thinner, you still think you can fit through the same spaces you did before like between cars. If you were bigger, you still think it’s okay to say “that guys fatter than me”. I don’t think there was a lot of mirror-looking for me at that time and I know there are very, very few photos of me. But so began my journey…

I was able to lose a total of 27kg from my highest weight over a span of 2 years. I ate healthy, detoxed medications, walked, did Taebo via video, went on meal plans and eventually came across Callinetics which changed everything thanks to same good friend mentioned above. And I’ve been able to maintain my weight for the most part since.


The moral of this story, is that I lost perspective when I quit smoking. I hadn’t put a limit on what I ate. I gave myself permission to “go for it” coz after all, quitting smoking was really good and I could justify it.  But I had traded one bad habit for another.

People I meet now don’t believe it’s me in the photo. People I meet now don’t understand why I regulate my weight and won’t allow it to go over a certain limit. Not because I’m obsessed. Not because I’m scared, but because I have boundaries that I have put in place. Me.

So I’d like to ask you today, whether we are talking about smoking, weight, drinking, work, your body, conversations with people other than your spouse or partner, how people treat you… do you have boundaries in place? Do you know where you line is so that you will know when it has been crossed?

If you don’t, and you’d like to have… talk to me. I can help.

2 thoughts on “Losing Perspective”

Leave a Comment